Texas Humor

A Good Sampling of Texas Humor

Everybody needs humor in their daily lives. Without it, life is going to be dull and even worthless. A daily dose of amusing Texas humor is all you need to go through life’s challenges and idiosyncrasies. Here are good points that can make your blood tingle a little bit, whether you are a pure-blooded Texan or not.

  1. In Texas, farmers can almost harvest boiled potatoes. That’s how hot the sun is shining up there.
  2. The best dressed women in Texas are those wearing fine jewelry, a beautiful nightgown, and a sleek black cowboy boots.
  3. Texas humor teaches you that Texans don’t have accents. You simply can understand Texas language.
  4. In Texas, winter is the time when you can use the air conditioning system - the summer sun is going to burn it fast.
  5. The summer of Texas is so hot trees are fighting over the pee of a dog.
  6. In Texas, taxidermy is a very honorable profession.
  7. Texans love deer food that they can make 10 different meals out of it.
  8. No Texans can claim they are vegetarians. If anybody says he is, you have license to shoot.
  9. To drive in Texas, you have to forget all the driving rules you learned from the other States.
  10. Texas humor stories always say that going to Texas is like going to an entirely different country. That’s not true. You don’t need a visa to go to Texas. A good vision is all you need.
  11. If you want to drink beer in Texas bars, you have to hold the bottle with your fingers covering the label. Not doing so is impolite.
  12. Texans are not couch potatoes. They just love watching TV on a Saturday night.
  13. Going to church on a Sunday is mandatory in Texas. Skip mass and you’ll never see the pastor in his boots.
  14. In the Texan language, all questions should end in a proposition.
  15. If you want to drive in Texas in July, you have to learn how to drive using only your fingers – you can’t hold the entire steering wheel because it is too hot.
  16. English is the primary language used in Texas. But for some reason, you have to learn Spanish in order to understand it.

This collection of simple Texas humor is here to remind you that the Texan people are fun-loving in nature. These are compiled not to offend Texans in anyway. They are just good ways to brighten up an otherwise gloomy day.

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